“Violation of a Norm”

In order to appreciate the entire scope regarding the ramifications around my experiment of violating a social norm of mine, and the responses that I received, it first must be noted a few personal variables in the mix. I am bisexual, and my gender roll identification leans more toward being male to female transgendered, and gender nonconforming.

     In short, I am viewed as being someone who identifies mostly in a feminine capacity.

As a norm, I usually keep myself totally clean shaven – face, legs, arms, bikini area, etc…

I have long brown hair and try to keep it styled in various feminine ways, modeled after girls I see within the mass media, whom I like for one reason or another.

     I am generally openly engaging towards all others, in a friendly feminine, and helpful way.

For my social norm violation, I chose to refrain from practicing my daily, feminine hygiene ritual of keeping myself smooth shaven for a week.

Also, I allowed myself to be a bit less social engaging, keeping my conversations and greetings to a minimum, at this time too.

After about 3 days, I started to feel the effects of being lonely, and less friendly, and cheerful.

Also, even though I knew that I was clean, I kind of felt not so much so because of the unwanted hair creeping onto my face, legs, and arms like a disgusting creepy spider!

     The only other “sister” gender queer whom I associate with regularly, soon started to good naturedly tease me about the presence of “contraband” on my face, and so did some of the other close inmate associates of mine.

It seems like I noticed that some others would even “pull back” and not be so eager to try to engage in very much in depth conversation with me, while even some would express to me a sincere sense of worry for my personal well being.

I learned a lot about how I am perceived by others in such a superficial level, as well as how different I personally feel about such a minor change in appearance.

 

 

Bio: My name is Joni Salyers, I am 60 years old have been incarcerated for 40 years so far. I’m from Athens County but have lived my formative years in Florida.